dog translation guide

woof = dog
woof woof = hello
woof woof woof = im a dog

*vigorously jerking off to one of those 8-hour HD fireplace videos* THROW ANOTHER LOG ON THERE YOU DIRTY BITCH

It is literally impossible to talk about gardening without both friends and total strangers going "Growing vegetables????? Methinks,,, that you mean actually,,, cannabis skunk weed, most devilish!!"

My body: water please
Me: time for a delicious Coke Zero
Body: lol no dude just some water
Me: ah the delicious taste of Coca Cola and zero calories
Body: lmao

Mastodon is a conspiracy run by domain name registrars

@coaxmetal lol I am likewise in this same boat (the ship of fools)

80% of the internecine fights we see play out on the timeline are personal disputes that get blown out into big issues of political dimension

trust an old cranky man when i say, hate you hate, it's ok! its fun to hate fuckos! you can dislike someone for whatever petty reason you want, you dont need to make into an issue of political or moral failing

guys i'm beginning to think that landlords provide absolutely no value to society and are a parasitic blight on humanity

So far my Mastodon follows are in two distinct groups:

- Very earnest, serious people who want to put aside the nonsense of other websites and build a new kind of community.

- Absolutely unchained shitposters who want to post photos of their ass and tweet "B O R G E R" without being told not to

big announcement coming up when i hit 1000 accounts

Not that I've seen anyone framing this as "The great Mastodon experiment has failed!" but I can see how someone might.

Feels important to mention that people taking issue with how mastodon.social is moderated and moving to another instance more in line with their values isn't a failure of Mastodon as a platform, it's exactly how Mastodon was designed to be used.

Hi please RT this so i can get my followrrs back

@Gar Hi Gar, not sure how I have been included on this but could I please be removed from future replies? This discussion is incredibly disruptive and is not a communication that I wish to receive going forward.

Thank you for your understanding on this.

[literally 8000 replies follow]

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Troll University

A small community for people who like to have fun online.

Here's the rules, don't make me write more:

  1. No nazis, no alt-right, no tories
  2. If you harass people or make them feel unwelcome on this instance or any other I will find out how to ban people on this thing and then ban you